About Me

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London, United Kingdom
Holly Searle is a writer and an artist who was made in Soho and thereafter born in the heart of London. She has been blessed with two quite remarkable children and grandchildren whom she adores. She enjoys the company of her friends and the circus that is life, has a degree in Film and Television, and has exhibited her artwork in several exhibition.

Friday, 3 October 2014

House of Wax By Holly Searle

Having suffered from depression myself, I felt that it would be of use for me to see how fellow sufferer Ruby Wax had moved on from the same situation, and had progressed into studying how our brains work. In doing so, she wrote a fascinating book called Sane New World, in which she explored the negative effects that stressed triggered hormones can have on our health in the 21st century. And more importantly, how we can turn these negatives into positives, to enable us all to lead much more productive and healthier lives.

To compliment her book, she has been touring with a live show, in the same way she did when she decided to take her experience of depression on the road.

Statistically, it is said that one in four people suffer from depression. Personally I think that figure is incorrect as we live and function in a global space that forces us to look at and see things that we have become desensitise too. How can people en mass, therefore fail to be unaffected by the constant everyday bombardment of the masturbatory media dystopian images and reports about the world in which we all live?

In a nutshell, they can't. Everyday at tea time we bare witness to stories on the news about dreadful events that are happening in the world. There is no currency in this, as a majority of these news reports do not affect us personally, yet we are manipulated into feeling emotionally impotent having been exposed to them.

Imagine the affect those stories are having on your children?

My advice to you would be to turn over as I do and watch The Simpsons instead. At least it will make you laugh and contains its own strain of truth in each episode.

Life is pretty tough as it is without all of this forced negativity.

Yes it is terrible that a volcano has erupted on an island somewhere, but what can you actually do about that whilst eating your tea?

Absolutely nothing, that's what.

So, in this life we all lead, it is far far better to learn how too deal with all of this unnecessary additional stress, than it is to witness it and feel bad.

Just let it go, you'll feel better and you'll be happier for it.

This is the basic principle of Sane New World and how to learn to practice Mindfulness, a simple relaxation technique that will calm you down, and productively reduce the release of all those harmful hormones into your body.

Buy the book, you'll love it and learn a lot in the process.

Your mind does its own thing. It is your hard drive that is constantly working overtime to process all conscious and unconscious thoughts and actions.

And, you have to learn how to manage that baby, rather than letting it manage you.

As a recovered depressive, I find the whole principles of this practice perfectly logical. But that is how my hard drive works. These days I try to steer myself away from situation and instances that may cause me to feel emotionally drained or unwittingly knock me off kilter that in the process start to make me feel bad.

However, as that walking through the airport terminal sequence in Airplane! comedically demonstrated, it isn't always easy to avoid situations that may present themselves, and catch us out.

I try to think of these instances as the onslaught of flu. So I ride it out and decide that tomorrow is another day and I will feel better.

My mum told me that someone once told her that everyday we paint a new picture. If at the end of that day we don't like the picture we have painted, we can simply rip it up and start a new one the following day.

I like that.

So just remember that when you are feeling sad. It will get better. Believe me I know.

So there I was with Child Two in the Dress Circle in the stunningly beautiful Richmond Theatre, when a voice said "Hello!" And there was my gorgeous friend Carol whom I went to college with many years ago.

After a long and loving bear hug, it transpired that she was sitting with her friend in the row in front of us. What are the chances I thought?

The years have a delightful way of concertinaing when you meet someone you have a fondness for, and we caught up on the now whereabouts of fellow students who had been on the same course as us way back when.

She then said "Did you hear about David?" And I froze, as even I can work out that when someone uses that statement, it isn't going to be followed with anything particularly nice.

"No." I responded with great trepidation.

"He committed suicide." She said. "Depression."

The show started and I sat there in a state of shock.

David was someone whom I had had a brief relationship with during that course. He was an incredibly handsome man, who was an immensely talented actor. Not a lot of people understood him, as he could appear a little arrogant.

He wasn't, he was just a bit lost.

He once made me a compilation tape of all these wondrous songs, which I played endlessly.

I seem to recall that prior to college, he had been through some awful personal experience. He was doing his best, I always felt to keep on keeping on. But it wasn't easy for him.

The last time I saw him was at university. Whilst I was studying film, he was on the same campus studying music.

A few years ago, he popped into my head as I wondered what had become of him. God bless Google, as I eventually found a story that revealed that he was an IT Manager on the South East coast, who kite surfed to work every day.

This story made the national press. Although it may never have been a review of the production I saw his single handed performance save all those years ago, it was a good review.

It took a few days for me to compute this information after seeing Ruby Wax. And it made me feel incredible sad for the loss of another human being to depression.

How odd life is that you attend a show that it centred around that very issue, only to discover, yet another victim of its vile illness, told to you by a friend who happens to be at the same show sitting in the row in front of you.

Life is full of funny shit like that.

And do you know what? There is a message there somewhere, and whatever that may be, I am glad that I am here to tell you that story.

Rest in peace David.

You were a brave and effervescent participant of this world, and I thank you for having been a part of mine.


Maria said...

So sad, and so real the way you wrote that. It's exactly how bad news is given to us, and we have to carry on like we were before. I love how you put a picture at the end.

sonia shuter said...

very sad but i also like your mums comment about the picture Truth is none of us really understand about depression.Men I believe are worse at dealing with it due to their reluctance to visit a dr and to talk about their emotions. I wonder are we a nation still of stiff upper lip people?