About Me

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London, United Kingdom
Holly Searle is a writer who was born in Westminster in the middle of London. She shares her birthday with Jarvis Cocker and David Seaman and like Jarvis Cocker she wears glasses but has nothing whatsoever in common with David Seaman. She is fascinated by words, people and their stories, and regularly spends hours fantasising about being offered a weekly column. She has a degree in Film and Television which she gained from Brunel University in 1997. She has been blessed with two quite remarkable children whom she adores. She enjoys the company of her friends and the circus that is life. Long Walk to Forever by Kurt Vonnegut is her favourite short story. She is the author of the published children's tale The Story of Balan Singh, and is currently working on her first book.

Sunday, 24 November 2013

The Walking Daft By Holly Searle




After attending a productive out of the office meeting towards the end of last week, I walked to the nearest train station to catch a train back to my office.

And there a train sat waiting on the platform, so I boarded it. I was cold as I had been walking for sometime prior to reaching the station. I sat down on the train and as I did so, my ears tuned in to a conversation that was talking place between to of my fellow passengers.

They were two men in their late twenties sitting opposite each other. The first man pipes up and says to the second man I have been thinking of having a baby.

My initially reaction on hearing this was how endearing it was to hear a young man make such a statement.

But then he said to the second man Yeah I am sick of using condoms. They are too tight and I don't like them

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!


How very dare you.

Pop! Went that huge balloon of endearment that had been floating above my head.

My next thought was, did I actually hear what I thought I heard? Yes, unfortunately I had. The exchanged carried on in a similar vain culminating with man one crossing over to sit next to man two, so that he could show him a text he had received from one of the lucky girls he had been sticking it too.

And I thought romance was dead.

Thinking that man two had obviously failed basic reading at school, man one then proceeded to read out loud the text from the girl, the context of which (expletives and all), would have made Jerry Springer winced.

At this point, I thought to myself, just move. Move away from these idiots now. Do not allow their stupidity to infect your sound and rational mindset, or your every decreasing belief in humanity.

So I did. I got up and moved as far away from them as I possibly could.

I'll be honest with you, I found this encounter quite upsetting. Not because of the language that they were using, but because of their lack of shame and propriety in which they were conducting themselves.

As if, I thought, we weren't all emotionally tested on a daily basis in these modern times that we all inhabit, without having to encounter morons like those two.

For me, they really were the straw that broke the camel's back.

Later that night, on the safety of my own sofa, I was watching the latest episode of The Walking Dead. And it suddenly occurred to me, as I watched Rick et al battle their bloody way through more zombies. That if I ever wake-up in a hospital bed alone and discovered that a majority of what once was human, has now become Zombified, I pray to God, that those that haven't, aren't like those two embarrassments I had the misfortune to encounter that day on the train.

Although, knowing my luck.

But then I thought, that these two, and their multiples of sorry social counterparts (of which there are many), are already living amongst us. And whilst they may not be The Walking Dead, they most certainly are The Walking Daft.

And yes, the more you think about this comparisons, you more you can see it can't you? Those self-gratifying masses that continue to try to invade the space of those of us that are just trying to survive in their own quiet way. Continually antagonising us with their relentless stupidity, comments, and actions, without a fully functioning brain cell between them.

I find it so scary, that I may start placing ads in shop windows to see if I can source a man who while he may not have much to say, is quite handy with medieval military technology.

Hells bells!

And I wonder how long it will be before I place a sheriff's hat on my son's head and start yelling Stay in the house Carl at him to prevent him from becoming infected by their idiosyncratic behaviour.

In The Walking Dead, the protagonist Rick and his ever increasing then decreasing, then increasing troupe, are constantly moving to avoid the very beings that threaten their liberty.

Until a cure can be found, I intend to do the same.


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