About Me

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London, United Kingdom
Holly Searle is a writer and an artist who was made in Soho and thereafter born in the heart of London. She has been blessed with two quite remarkable children and grandchildren whom she adores. She enjoys the company of her friends and the circus that is life, has a degree in Film and Television, and has exhibited her artwork in several exhibition.

Friday, 30 November 2012

The Little Journeyman By Holly Searle

As a parent I have strived for the past twenty plus years to ensure that the well being of my children was paramount on my agenda. I have feed and watered them both, ensured that their clothes were clean and that their shoes were polished. I have created a stable environment for them both to grow up in. I have watched over them when they have been ill, helped them learn to tie their shoes, put plasters on their cuts and have tried to keep them free from harm.

To be honest with you, I have winged most of this parenting stuff as throughout most of it, I haven't the foggiest idea what I was doing. Children do not come with instruction manuals or handbooks explaining their individual requirements, so it has been a learning curve for all three of us.

At the best of times, it has been incredible. At the worst of times it has been heartbreaking. But if there is one thing that I have learnt, it is that you must always be there for them, no matter what.

I am endlessly proud of both of them in all they do, say and act. I honestly couldn't have nicer children and my heart is full to bursting with equal amounts of love for each of them.

In life we encounter many transitions especially as we are growing up. There are little leaps to and from one destination to another and sometimes these aren't as easy as they could be for our children. And as a parent I am emotionally bleeding for the journey that my son in currently on.

He is a lovely child. Easy and charming with no malice or anger within his soul. He is caring and solid. He has never been in trouble or the cause of any.

Throughout his primary education he learnt and grew with the same group of children. They were a very special class. They all supported each other through all of their ups and downs throughout the years they spent in each others company.

This year they were all disbanded to various secondary schools and this was met with immense sadness by all of them.

Thirty plus kids all put out to tender and heading off in different directions.

My son was one of four from his class to be accepted into his next school.

He has found this transition incredibly difficult. At first, he embraced the newness of it all with an open mind and heart. He loved it so much (after his initial worries), that he wanted to know why he could not attend at the weekends as well.

But then, it all began to dawn on him that these new children that he was mixing with were not the same as those he had left behind.

This has left him with mixed feelings with regards to how he should deal with it all.

Not only has he had to deal with an overload of new responsibilities, he has also had to deal with children who are motivated by unacceptable social behaviour.

He doesn't understand this mindset or how it works. And that is causing issues for him.

He has been called names, had money demanded from another child and has been the subject of ridicule.

I remember quite clearly my daughter going through the same process during her first year at secondary school. Two rather nasty social misfits decided that they would make her life hell. It wasn't just in school that they carried out their evilness as they started to call at our home. I approached her year tutor regarding this matter and was told that I didn't understand as these two children came from troubled homes. I found that unacceptable and moved her.

I wonder sometimes if that was the beginning for this nanny state that we now find ourselves living in.

Although I have every sympathy for children who are having a bad time, I found it diabolical that my child should suffer because she had to make allowances for those that didn't have a parent or an upbringing like she did.

Is that what we do? Excuse at our own cost? I don't think so.

A bully is a bully.

I recall a fantastic song from the underrated Everything But The Girl called Little Hitler.

There is a lyric in that song that goes

Little Hitlers, little Hitlers
Grow up into big Hitlers
Look what they do

I am not happy that my son is not happy and will do all I can to ensure that the affects that those driven my a malevolent streak is dissipated as quickly as possible.

I have always worried about him more in this sense than my daughter.

You worry about your daughters, because you feel that they are more vulnerable to other unsavoury social elements. But as she grew, I realised that women form stronger bonds and are more apt at looking after each other in the process.

Boys are a different kettle of fish all together. I think they are much more at risk from these elements. And as I am aware of this, I shall be making sure he isn't targeted or harmed in any way shape or form by those with less favourable intentions.

And, I might add, who do not have a parent like my children do.

1 comment:

Deirdre McNinch said...

Well said, girl! I agree wholeheartedly. Lucky lad, to have a strong, fair-minded, loving mum.